Golden Rules of communication, or how to properly hands gesticulate when talking

Sign language is the oldest. On it people openly before learned to speak and write — some scholars believe.

However, it is curious that people mainly motion when spoken, and very rarely listen. This suggests that the gestures are an integral part of speech. Try to talk to the exciting us topic with his hands tied, and we immediately start talking "gesticulate" mimicry, help yourself to the head and body.

Thanks to the gestures we can understand people of different nationalities, without knowing their language. However, here you have to be careful because the same gesture in different cultures can have the opposite meaning. If we are in response to the invitation of the Bulgarian affirmatively kivnem head, he will understand it as a failure, and if pokachaem head from side to side, decides that we agree.

"OK" gesture when large and forefinger form a ring, is obscene in Turkey, Greece and Brazil. Offended and the French, realizing it as "you are a complete zero, nothingness.

Do not recommend in Greece stretching Palm forward, showing "Stop!". Such a gesture, when Palm is directed toward another person here "send".

Lifting the seal of approval big thumbs up in Thailand or Iran, we oskorbim the inhabitants of those countries. For them, it would mean the same as exhibited up middle finger in Europe.

In Australia, Ireland and the UK are not worth showing a V gesture, signifying victory, if the Palm is directed at a person, he would understand it as "go away!".

Temperamental Hispanics, Italians, Spaniards, Frenchmen actively motion when talking — is the norm for them. The Northern nationalities too human hands waving during the conversation, can call the ill-bred, although he could just be greatly thrilled and excited. However, in this case from it want to stay away until it has cooled.

"He who lies in the language of words, throws himself in sign language, on which he paid no attention," said German philosopher Oswald Spengler.

Many people don't even realize how much their gestures can tell about themselves and about their intentions supervisory person.

For example, a person comes to the interview — wants to work as the Chief of a sales department. And brings with it a summary, where it is written, it is effective and communicative. Recruiter looks at him and sees that he sits tucked under itself legs and folded his hands on his chest. "Yes, he has problems with communication!" — thinks the recruiter and politely refuses.

Or coming to us to peruse the new neighbor. The smile on his face, but we notice hands, compressed into fists. "Uh, yes it's not helpful, what wants to appear!" — we do output.

For business meetings our likely competitor, greeting, shaking our hand. So much so that his Palm is provided above. "Wants to dominate the shows, who is Chief," we understand.

Using the gestures we can make people dislike and discourage them from themselves, and with the help of others deserve reputation of interesting and charismatic, with whom you can be friends and do business.

Knowing sign language, we can better understand people, understand their actions and anticipate their actions, because not all of them can control their gestures as speech. Words can speak one thing and gestures is quite another.

The above applies to the unperceived gestures, subconscious, which most people don't. And it is these gestures can we say a lot about her. (There are still language lucid gestures communicate people deaf.)

There are also ritual gestures. One of them is the handshake. This simple gesture you can express so much: the one whose hand will prove to be at the top, will surely take a superior position in the negotiations, it is an unofficial winner; but he whose hand will be at the bottom, is almost lost.

Australian writer and business coach Alan Pease, author of the book "body language. How to read thoughts by their gestures, advises: from the outset to put yourself on an equal footing with the partner and not to let he dominated, to shake hands need stretching, holding Palm vertically. In this case, it is easy to manage, and, if necessary, its position can be corrected. In addition, when shaking hands need to feel the pressure of the hands of the partner and its hand to pressure the same force.

Thanks to handshake we can create the impression of a man already in the first few minutes of dating with him.

What will tell gestures

Know how to interpret a gesture requiring top managers of large companies, and to the West — and from middle managers.

About a man who during the conversation does not know where to put their hands, if they impede him, you can tell that he is shy, nervous, feels awkward.

Considering your pimples and scratches-busy your thoughts, self-absorbed.

Pulling himself up for an ear or nose tip, the tip of the hair or the mustache twirls — configured skeptical doubt.

Pochesyvaet chest and stomach is very cocky.

Rocking or shaking leg taps fingertips on the table, plays with his fingers, twists in the hands of different objects, click the joints is impatient, can not focus or boring.

Someone who quite often rubs whiskey, forehead, is stretching, pulls the legs and hands, not enough life energy. He is passive and dreamy.

Nibbles the handle? Is in a State of internal conflict, something feared.

Hands chained behind his back, Chin looked up? We have before us a man accustomed to command, authoritarian.

Hands clenched in fists? Configured itself aggressively, but restrains.

Put your elbows on the table and twisted fingers or by fists cover her mouth? "Closed" from others.

Some of these gestures are gestures-parasites. As you know, there are words-parasites that have no meaning and only zamusorivajut it. But there are also gestures-parasites, which similarly impedes the perception. It is not easy to understand what he is talking about he who swings his arms pulling himself up for a tie or a mustache, constantly adjusts his hairdo or glasses.

The same meaningless gestures refers and continued shaking off invisible particles, "lomanie" myself, fingers rubbing the nose, tapping small objects on the table, etc. In addition, gestures-parasites are considered unethical. Unethical show on someone or something with your finger, grasping the interlocutor for the sleeve, clapping him on the shoulder, tousle in the hands of a pen or decorations, itch, etc.

How to become "Mr. body language»

Alan Pisa, who wrote "body language", referred to as "Mister" body language ". He knows all about how to unravel the thoughts and feelings of people by their gestures. He tells "how to learn to speak the language of the body" and even as his fake and "say wrong, not revealing yourself."

Experienced speakers use these techniques and using gestures have to imagine the audience, causing them to those or other emotions.

So gestures should be soft, "rounded". Hand movements is symmetrical, latitude both hands gesture is roughly equal. Error — one hand gesture when the second poked in a pocket or hanging along the trunk. Broad gesture would show that he is a man confident. Wedged — that he too impressed, and zakompleksovannyj.

However, it needs a measure. Overly broad and active gestures of the speakers who have excited and ill own a. To broad gestures appropriate recourse before a large audience. In a small company active gestures will look as ridiculous waving hands. However, in countries where people live with hot temperament, that nobody will be surprised.

Work out symmetrical gestures when both hands equally active, you can use exercises "left-handed". it is clear from the title, that we should introduce ourselves, and lefty all the work that previously served as the right hand, the left will do now. This exercise is useful for the formation of new neural connections. The main thing is not to be lazy, and then soon we can even manage your left hand mouse.

Gestures should be open-Palm deployed toward the listeners. Error — keep them back or hiding his hands behind his back, in the wallet. Private gestures since ancient times on the subconscious level is perceived as a danger: who knows whats in the hands — may, stone. Outdoor gesture shows — I have nothing to hide, here I am here before you, all at a glance.

Exercises to practice gestures

Make your gestures to clear, bright and vivid the following exercises will help.

1. Guess the word

Here you need the company of a minimum of three to four people. One person comes up with the word (or phrase — for example, a proverb) and shows it with gestures. The others have to guess what this word;

2. Mirror — imitating experienced speaker

On the Internet at the same YouTube you can find many speakers with expressive facial expression. For example, the same Alan Pisa, or Brian Tracy, or Oprah Winfrey. Look at the record and "obezjannichaem" — copy the facial expressions and gestures of our model. This exercise are advised to devote at least half an hour a day;

3. Soft gestures

First razminaem the wrist of each hand, trjasem, they slack off, and then write out the hands of eight and make waves;

4. Stroking movements

Touch all items gently, tenderly, as if the hands are not the kettle, and not a book, and not a Cup but a little fragile kitten;

Useful tips

  1. Get rid of small bustling gestures-parasites can be, if during a conversation with a wink of her large and forefingers so that formed a circle.
  2. Gestures should be finished. Do not suppress them, began to raise hands — smoothly finish the movement broke it on half way, as do the newcomers.
  3. We will be careful to follow our gestures match the spoken text. Psychologists say that people believe non-verbal information, rather than words. Inappropriate gestures can cause listeners to cognitive dissonance, knock them off and cause doubt said. For example, he argues that the growth of sales grew, but makes a hand gesture from the top down. Listeners in confusion: what to believe?

"She, not knowing what to do with hands must plug their mouth" myself, "Przekroj".

Maybe easier to abandon gestures at all if so hard to gesticulate correctly? But then you need to be alert to the fact that most of our performances that we have diligently prepared, listeners won't mind. Without a supportive gesture they glean per cent 40 and with it — all 80.

Unlikely and we will make an impression on them. And we will never become speaker, attracting full houses. "If you think that this would be easy, just forget about it. And never even try to become successful, "says motivational speaker Eric Thomas. — When you want to succeed in the same way as breathing, then you will succeed. "

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Автор статьи: Максим Миллер - о авторе.
Бизнесмен, инвестор, финансовый консультант Facebook
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