Family or career, profession or motherhood?

Your place in the bedroom, child in the kitchen — hundreds of generations of women unquestioningly followed this rule, considering it to be a perfectly normal and only possible. However, there were always those who, obeying the inner urging, protested against accepted patterns, who had little to remain just a wife, mother and mistress.

These women receive education, profession, hobby, as well as married, given birth and had children. George sand, Marie Curie, Alexandra Kollontai — before them was not the issue, what to choose: family or career? For them, it was important to combine both.

Incorrect question

Nowadays this question generally sounds correctly. No one has the right to put before us a choice: profession or motherhood. The world is so changed that adherence to the old dogmas just looks ridiculous. Moreover, equality of the sexes, which struggled so long and our predecessor, implies that we have to worry about their material well-being. Man and woman are now partners, nobody is obliged to maintain.

And thousands, millions of women every day to prove that you can be both a good mother and a great professional, have a family and career. Differently now is impossible.

Cases of life

Surely each one of us can cite dozens of examples of how you can combine a decent post and raising of children. For example, one of my girlfriend gave birth to their first child is a sophomore journalism, second at the last. At the end of the maternity leave went to a newspaper. Of course, study, work, travel, build relationships with her husband, wash-clean-Cook and simultaneously raise two kids is very difficult. But my girlfriend is an active, energetic person. World, limited only by the framework of the family, it is small. She loves the thing, that is, to the same humiliating for her to be possessed by her husband, asking for money for tights.

Another friend managed, being the mother of three sons, to become a successful biznesledi. This drove her family: husband doesn't cope with the role of wage-earners. She had to quit work in prestigious business publication and to do the selling. furniture. At first it was very difficult, but the years went by, turnover, increased sales, case is thriving.

I wonder what did kids while their moms were doing their business and earn money? Went to kindergarten, school, played with peers. And not feel deprived. In my opinion, talk about what a mother should day and night is with children is just gibberish. Of course, when it comes to the baby, is the way it should be, but when the child has grown up and begins to socialize, he does not feel abandoned, if mom busy day at work and at home appears only in the evening. On the contrary, the daily little separation exacerbates the joy of meeting. Mother and children is enough two-three hours, play, read, to feel mutual affection.

Society still against

But the men created a society in which we live, is not on the side of such women. It tries to cultivate those of us who puts high goals and achieves them, feeling guilty for what we supposedly nedodaem love and care for their children. Know why this happens? Because the woman, who has achieved career heights, becomes self-sufficient, independent, self-confident. This cannot be manipulated, such is not intimidating, don't turn into submissive housewife. If men could, they would have banned us from working in senior positions, to do business, to have an opinion.

But nothing they did not succeed. The world is changing, and reverse its development does not rotate.

By the way, you may have noticed that the problem of "fatherhood or career" does not exist at all! So why there should be a problem "motherhood or careers? I think 40-year-old generation is the last one she truly holds.

Modern young people mostly different build relationships with the opposite sex. Not only on the basis of mutual feelings, but on the basis of partnership, mutual respect and mutual support. Many young fathers, coming from work does not fit on the couch in front of the tv and take the kids on your hands and go for a walk, bathe them before going to bed, tell tales. Letting their wives in the meantime or just relax for the rest of the day, remember about their interests and needs, or to study or work remotely.

Rules for Working Moms

According to psychologists, to build a successful career and still remain "good" mom, you must follow a few simple rules. Let's look at them individually.

1. Draw up to-do lists

So structure your putemvy your life, make it to order, and this is a very useful thing, and not only for the working mother of a small child. List of the day helps to understand that, really, you have to do, and without delay, and that it is possible to entrust her husband or on the implementation of what to ask my mother or mother-in-law. And in the evening so it's nice to see the list and delete complete the thought: I did it!

2. Apply the Pareto rule

It is known to only 20% reads: our activity brings 80% of the results. And this applies to both household chores and work. Therefore it is not necessary to grasp at all. Leave only the most important job and the remaining delegate to subordinates or relatives.

3. Learn to say "no"

It is always useful to know how, and especially working mothers. You have to walk through a sense of awkwardness and learn to politely but categorically deny, if you try to assign any case or ask a favor. All help is impossible. Fulfilling someone's work, you thereby depriving their children of their society. Why you need it?

4. Change installation

Many of us are guided by the principle: "If you want something done well, do it itself." The good, the right principle, but not in your position. Do not try to remake all alone. Let's order and control, leaving behind only the most important responsibilities. And you'll see how much free time you will have.

5. Focus on the main

When every minute is worth its weight in gold, it is not necessary to split it on trivia. The lengthy conversations about anything on the phone, reading the news on the Internet, checking the assessments and visits on odnoklassniki, posting photos on Vkontakte. Yes little did what other ways to waste time, you can find! Train yourself to start the workday with a preview of your favorite websites and mail checks and immediately with urgent cases.

Commandments success Sheryl Sandberg

This lady is a member of the Board of Directors of Facebook, one of the most successful and influential United States entrepreneurs whose personal capital in the current year amounted to 1 billion dollars. In the list of Forbes most powerful women in the world 2011 year it got 5th place! Sheryl Sandberg recently wrote the book "do not be afraid to act. Woman, work and leadership will "immediately became a bestseller.

The advice of a successful businesswoman and mother of two children worth considering. Here are some of them!

1. To work

If a woman has a choice — to build a career or sit with the child at home, refusing for him from their ambitious plans, work better than not working. In her view, the life and the child and family as a whole is improving, if both parents are successful each with its business.

2. Do not try to catch all

While women often refer to themselves as jelektrovenikom, but even the most active and Hardy happens "circuit". If you don't have a perfect order in the closet or you do not have time to engage in his home, do not worry and do not strive to remake all affairs at home and at work. The pursuit of excellence is our enemy. Distribute tasks among family members and subordinates. Cheryl have, by the way, Sunday lunches and shared dinners meets husband, successful businessman.

3. Share family responsibilities

Based on scientific data, Cheryl argues that mothers feel less guilt, and children develop better if fathers are actively involved in caring for them. If a wife provides half the family's income and the husband while performs half the housework, the risk of divorce decreases by about a factor of two. Of course, Cheryl got lucky with her husband. He's supporting her desire to make a career, quietly took over half of domestic responsibilities.

And that means you need to …

… Choose this partner. That is, a person who understands you and shares your aspirations, thinks broadly and not fixated on outdated perceptions of roles within the family.

4. Ignore the stereotypes

Cheryl said that many women are hesitant to listen to their own desires and behave as they tells the soul, because they are afraid of the stigma. But public opinion, like all stereotypes, have to give a damn. Don't be afraid to skew opinions and hateful whispers behind his back, a good rule of thumb: do what should, and what will be.

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Автор статьи: Максим Миллер - о авторе.
Бизнесмен, инвестор, финансовый консультант Facebook
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