10 tips to learn how to manage people and achieve the desired
As you know, the man is a social creature. He cannot live without society and social attitudes are added together so that one run, while others are subject to them, coordinate the work, and others perform. Historically since ancient times. Another ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius wrote that people are divided into those who govern and those who are governed.
For many centuries people accumulated managerial experience, and at the end of the 20 century were formulated the main principles of management. The science of management — management stood out as a separate field of knowledge, and manage companies became top-managers, whom the shareholders or the Board of Directors have given appropriate powers. From their effectiveness depends on the commercial success, and the fate of the entire company.
According to sociologists, manage people, namely: influence on their views, convince, persuade, encourage, push — like many. But these many see only one side of the coin is attractive. They think that by managing, they will rise above the people, will not be such as all, implement their ambitious plans. But they are misguided in thinking that it is enough to be only a strong-willed, determined, ambitious, and success achieved. As the saying goes: "not everyone who sits on the horse-rider". People readily obey one, but ignore the other.
"If you don't learn to manage subordinates and circumstances, then they will control you," writes business trainer Alexander Friedman in his book "you or you: professional exploitation of subordinates. However, science management preferably master not only managers, but people of any age, sex and social status, who would like to learn how to influence people and not allow them to manipulate you.
1. Work on their view
Want to become an influential and authoritative? Work on their view. It must be direct, open and solid. It can be strong, friendly, powerful, confident, steadfast, careful, but not running, tricky, slippery, indifferent.
Eye express than people living and breathing, his attitude to the events, people. In the eyes, we define how to us are actually distinguish lies from the truth, they read the fear, doubt, uncertainty, indifference, or vice versa — see endorsement, support, sympathy.
Talking with your interlocutor, look him in the eye. We will not trust someone who stubbornly avoids meeting with us look? Perhaps this person has only a problem with self-esteem, but it seems that he is insincere, hiding something "keeps the stone in the bosom".
Maybe friends and colleagues did not listen to us because we look "wrong"?
2. Maintaining energy pause
People are trying to manipulate us: in the presence of other people he suddenly sets us a delicate question that we didn't answer earlier, when were together. Here is the suddenness of the calculation: in his opinion, we should get confused, nervous and respond.
What to do in this case? Endure energy pause: behave as if about to answer, look him straight in the eye and … keep silent. It is all waiting, and we keep some time to pause and get the conversation to abstract theme. The main thing is to behave naturally, no fuss, no twitch, and more such rooms with us do not.
As said the main character of the novel Somerset Maugham Julia Lambert as mistress to manage people, "the main thing is to keep a pause, the more an artist, the more he pause. … Do not pause unnecessarily, and if you took it — push how much can! ".
3. Become less assertive
Some people are too persistent in their requests, if not to say intrusive. They tempt, flatter, persuade, demand. They show up at the door, and they climb into the window. "Sticking (stuck) as bath sheet," talk about such.
Tip: do not enter into bickering, because intrusive people need a pitch to continue the conversation. Them, and they answer ten, and we do not notice how let myself involve into Bazaar disassembly, which will result in an altercation.
People with mild nature prefer to avoid conflicts, it is easier to accept and go on assignment. Do not forget: saying "Yes" to others, we may say "no".
We behave as an active listener-kivaem head, encourage further conversation. In the end our too insistent buddy interrupts flow of words to appreciate the speech produced an impression. "I said ' no '!", answer him firmly. Two or three such polite rejection — and it will find another site more compliant and malleable.
4. Does not explain its refusal
Explain why "no" can only be adequate people, understanding all the first time. Another category of people will perceive such explanations as a sign of weakness, justification, and will insist with greater force.
"Never renounce that makes you smile," Heath Ledger.
5. Do not enter the game "who would review»
We know that using a sight you can manipulate people and probably resorted to such tricks. Did your eyes tender — and got the desired; formidable — and here we ignore. Want someone to embarrass — look at him a long gaze.
In the same way and try to manipulate us. It is particularly good in people adopting host hypnotic, or magnetic, look. This look penetrates into the soul. It seems that we see through. Under such a gaze you feel anxiety, confusion, becoming like a rabbit, suspended before the BOA that and you want to arm. We feel helpless, confused and ready to obey.
Tip: do not enter into a game of "who will reconsider." Throw on a short paddle look, smile, making it clear that his trick is cracked, and watch on any object, not only in the eyes. By the way, do not look in the eye and obsessive fortunetellers, blocked the way.
6. Getting rid of irritations
We are surrounded by different people, and not all of them we like. How to put up with colleagues, superiors, subordinates, which cause antipathy and irritation? Run the company into the company in search of the perfect team? Such does not exist. Show intolerance, enmity, quarrel? Earn reputation sklochnika, from which all would dream to get rid of.
Let's go on a little trick: include imagination and imagine the nasty little officer wronged child, which we cannot fail to regret. Our unfriendly view changes to a sympathizer and, who knows, maybe soon we forget their animosity.
Advice from Margaret Thatcher: "we must study well his enemy, then one day you can turn him into a friend."
7. Not always prove our rightness
Proving that we are right, we allow others to evaluate themselves show that we need their approval and support. In so doing, we put ourselves at the mercy of someone else's opinion. If the opinion of a person has no value for us, no need to prove anything to him.
"I am older I mean is always right," Dean Winchester from the tv series "Supernatural."
8. Label personal boundaries
People manage easier when clear personal boundaries: "stop is on my personal space, it cannot be!" This is important in both your personal and business life.
Some bosses want to be subordinates at short leg, quickly move on to the "you" — familjarnichajut. Obviously, they think so they become faster, win credibility. However, their behavior is perceived as flattery. There are employees who will not fail to "take on its head" and cease to obey.
No need to hurry to reduce distance and in personal relationships. The slower it will happen, so less frustrating to have to experience in the future.
9. Appeal to a man named
In the conversation do not forget more frequent recourse to the interlocutor on behalf of. According to Dale Carnegie, is the sweetest sound for each. Personality is incorporated with the name, pronouncing it, we like talking to a person you are, you exist. And this is a positive emotion that he subconsciously carries us. (We are not talking about cases where a person does not like his name.)
as Phoebe, which you have a beautiful name!
— Oh! You haven't heard my phone number!
10. More praise people
Criticized for blunders we all know, but praise often do not see fit — pretend that this should be so. But praise and compliment can create miracles: they raise self-esteem, human and positive emotions filled with energy, and he is ready to move mountains (maybe even for us).
"There are two people control lever: the first is personal gain, and the second is money." — Napoleon Bonaparte.
However, this is only a small part of the techniques of how to influence people and manage them. The issue studying and pedagogues, psychologists, and sociologists on this topic is written quite a few books, for example "gift of the leader. How to influence people "by Ken Blanchard. The art of managing people trained in numerous trainings. And, of course, if you prefer, you can master, because he who stretches your mind controls human beings», wrote a follower of Confucius Mencius.
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